PHYSICISTS BAFFLED BY FINDINGS OF BLACK HOLES IN CHEESE

Fig. 1

A recent series of experiments done by a leading research team at CERN Laboratories has resulted in new
evidence confirming the existence of multiple black holes, even binary black hole systems (see fig. 1) within a single cheeson particle. The team, stationed in Switzerland, has coined the nickname "Swiss Cheese" for this new mysterious phenomena.

The team began by de-stablizing the forces in milk by bombarding it with a shower of highly charged bosons. Then, they added a special species of bacteria that convert matter into energy.

Some models predict 4th dimensional cheesicles

"Black holes require a lot of energy to exist. Up until this point, we weren't sure how to reach the critical level needed to form black  holes.  Now we've reached a breakthrough" says the team's leader. "After we added the Einsteinian bacteria into the media, we subjected the mass to a powerful magnetic field generated by the Large Hadron Collider, and for the first time in history, we've generated observable black holes.

Some Scientists have even begun speculating about other wild and exotic phenomena such as worm-holes in apples, dark matter lying around the floor at night for you to stub your toe on, and "pure energy" drinks.